Baby Journal #2

June 7,2008

Daddy and I are not sure what to name you. We each have a name, but can't seem to agree. I am just worried it won't be perfect for you. Your middle name will be Ray after your great grandpa Ray. Daddies grandpa. I never got to meet him, but I have heard he was a neat man.

Only 16 weeks left... not even 16 weeks!!! I feel a bit overwhelmed. I am stuck on "Things being pefect for you" I freak out when the house isn't clean or when dishes are in the sink. Right now it is the car... it is a mess... It makes me laugh inside a little. As if you were, right now, to walk into the house saying "geez ma this place is a pig pen" Being pregnat makes a person crazy. Alls your daddy can say is... "calm down"... I do feel bad for him.

It is getting harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. You tend to be a wiggle worm at night and you are growing so fast I feel it. And it hurts a great deal. I am pretty sure you are going to be a moose.

Baby Journal

I am keeping a written journal of the on goings on my pregnancy and thought perhaps I should myspace blog them as well... just for you my friends... As I write I am writting to the baby... FYI...

June 5, 2008

Last night I was laying on the couch watching T.V. Your daddy came over and layed his head on my stomach and said "hi Baby"... You kicked so hard I thought you were going to kick through me. You seem to be more active after daddy gets home. As if you are excited to hear his voice... I can image you yelling "Lets play daddy". You also get excited when you hear other children playing... I think your going to be a wild one. Grandma wants to feel you move or kick so she talks to you and pokes at my belly, but you won't move for her.

Pregzilla

I am exhausted… that just about sums up my life right now. 5am comes early after waiting up for Daniel to get off work just to spend five whole minutes with him. The time I do spend with him is mostly spent being crazy. I have turned into a nut case. I feel like a giant Kraken from the sea. Pregzilla!!!!!!!!

I honestly don't ask for much in life… but when alls I want is a blue slurpie, by golly you would think I was asking for a pineapple flavored pretzel or calorie free cheesecake… seriously! We drive all over town with no success… sigh… this was a few days ago, and I still really really want a blue slurpie.

SO------ I am 17 weeks, that is just over 4 months. I feel it has been a lifetime so far!!! I do feel the baby move and wiggle, but not often. I am hoping that means it will be a laid back kind of kid. Like Daniel… not wild and obnoxious like me. They say at 17 weeks the baby is as big as your hand stretched out or a big pinecone… I say its that big with a giant bowling ball for a head. And it gets worse they tell me… super…

I have been to the baby doctor at least once a week for the last 3 months. I am not a hypochondriac... I swear. It just seems like every thing in the "What to expect when your expecting" book applies to me. You know the statistic "one in a million"… I am that 1... Woooooo…. My doctor gave me vicodein to deal with the pain. That just seems wrong to me. But a few people have told me their doc gave them the same… so…

Oh my gosh!!!! So my mom took me shopping in Chico for my birthday last week… We had lunch at the BK lounge (Burger King) and about an hour later I was a huge!!! Like the girl from Willy Wonka!!!! So… no more eating out like a Fatty McFat Fat… I guess its better that way. Not like I was a fast food junkie. I haven't even gained that much in the last four months… really! Only 8 pounds… crazy I know! I feel like its more. Its not cause I've been pukie either… I have only prayed to the porcelain gods a few times, mostly because of migraines…

I still want a blue slurpie……………………………

We need to move… darn Gypsy soul… I think if I had my own space I would be less crazy. Which would be a good thing… I get so frustrated when I feel like I am being un reasonable, which in turn makes me even more nuts… when will it end………………

No, I do not know what the baby is yet. I think it is a boy… I will find out next month

So that is all for now…

my Butterfly

So I was in bed just staring at the ceiling when all of a sudden I felt this tiny little flutter... almost like a tickle on the inside of my belly...

Of course I cried a little.

This is how things are

So this is how things have been… and are currently.

Daniel and I moved back to Redding the day after Thanksgiving. My parents drove from Cali to Arizona to help us move. My family spent Thanksgiving with Daniels family. It was fun… and interesting… lol… The drive back wasn't nearly as bad as when we moved the first time. No 20 hour car ride with a crying cat, or flying dead rabbits. It went quickly, mostly because (I think) I missed my family and was more than ready for the move. I didn't even get choked up or give it a second thought. I was loosing my mind and part of my soul everyday I was away. I need my sisters, I need my mom, I need my cousins, my brothers, my aunts and uncles. I need them all. They are a big part of me and my life and I don't feel myself when I am away. So… we moved…

We are living with my parents… and ALL of my siblings (My parents, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 4 dogs, 4 cats, a lizard… and then Daniel and myself). It has been interesting and I love it. I don't mind all the chaos or chores… its nice. I feel relaxed and even happy, even with all the recent heartache and being depressed because of our loses. I feel at ease. I know this is where God wants us.

Daniel and I each found a job the first week back. He is working at Luigies Pizza, delivering pizza. I am teaching at West Redding Preschool (UGH!)… again… I know its not the best of environments, but I honestly feel like there is more to do there than get a pay check… like God has a job for me to do there… so I tie my shoes everyday with a sigh and a grunt, curse under my breath and put on a smile and head to work for another day of cleaning up spilt milk and wiping snot. I love the kids, but there is just too many in the class, and the lack of compassion amongst the staff is so sad. I'm working an UBER AWESOME gal. She makes it bearable!!!!

I miss my friends in Arizona… so so so much! I miss having fun with you all. The wild and crazy car rides to the mall or to Wendy's. Ordering 20 zillion chicken nuggets and the cowboys at Elyse's. Sarah, I miss your giant beast of a car and having lunch with you! Alura, I miss your boy drama and just hanging with you!! Robbie, I miss the random get togethers and your awesome shoes!!! Corbin, I miss your stinkin face!!!! Austin I miss your kind words and your nig--- beater!!!!! Sigh… I wish I could keep you guys in my pocket so I can pull you out and be with you whenever I feel like it.

I have no car.

I need to hang out with someone and have fun… seriously… I always forget to call you guys to hangout, so call me! OR TEXT ME! Something… I am real horrible about calling… I know I know…. Lame!

The End