Tonight, for the first time in a very long while, I felt Gods presence. During worship at the Stirring, I just felt like it was me and God. Just me and Him alone... I cried and laughed. It was just... well you can't really explain it.
Growing up in the Church left me feeling very much alone in my walk with Christ. I felt like most sermons were directed towards those who do not know Christ yet. I was worried so much about everyone elses soul, that I neglected my own. I think that is why I like the Stirring so much. I feel like it is meant for people like me... I am spiritually feed there.
Tonight God really put it on my heart to give to the Church. I always tithed in "time". I gave lots of my spare time to the youth department while I was attending Neighborhood. During worship I felt God asking me to give a portion of our tax refund to Him. Which is totally cool with me! I am not sure how Daniel will take the idea. Its Gods money anyways...
I've been pretty butt-hurt about having to "try" so hard to make ends meat. I felt like God wasn't being supportive of my dreams. I pictured God just ignoring my passions, and focusing on the people around me. Tonight during Church I realised that God just wants more for me. He wants more for my family. He has enormous plans for Daniel, Eli and me. I am not saying He is going to have us more to China and start an undergroud revolution (however cool that would be though). I vision our lives very simple, the American dream, but in doing that we bless others. I see us touching lives in our work places and Eli's future school. I always just wanted to be a mom... nothing more. God wants more than just a June Cleaver.... Maybe a Nancy Botwin, minus the sell of illegal substances... hahahaha
I am excited about what God has in-store for my family