Monday, October 31, 2005

Venting

In my line of work I see alot of garbage. I watch familys fall apart. Fathers who go to jail because they had molested their own children. Pregnant mothers come to pick up their children reeking of pot. Moms who bring their children to preschool but quickly leave because they are ashamed of the bruises on their face. Parents that are late picking up their kids cause they were out drinking and had to find a ride to preschool. Children talking about "what happens when daddy gets mad" I watch in pain everyday as parents chose their careers over their children. Parents who drop their children off at preschool at 7:30 am, hair uncombed, wearing the same dirty smelly clothes as the day before with a pop tart or twinky in hand, while mom or dad pulls away in their brand new SUV talking on their cell phone wearing beautiful clothes on their way to Starbucks, then the same parent will then come back still on their cell phone at 5:34 (we close at 5:30) they yell at their kids... "hurry up get your stuff and get in the car, i have a meeting to go to..." I really hate how parents refuse to discipline their kids... that really frustrates me. I meet hundreds of kids a year. The ones that are better behaved, and have more respect for themselves, adults and things are the children who receive discipline. But along with that they also receive positive reinforcement and attention, their has to be equal balance of both. I have meet alot of very depressed children also lately. For instance, I was babysitting 3 children ages 5, 9, and 12. The 12 year old was obsessed with "having a boyfriend" and how this other girl in her class has nicer clothes, and bigger boobs and two boyfriends at the same time, so in turn the 5 year old girl talks about the same thing. But the 9 year old boy just broke my heart. After I put them all to bed I went in and checked on them, he stoped me and tells me how he "wished mommy would play with him" and "love him like she loves Adam (her boyfriend)" then he wen ton to tell me he, "just wants to die because then mommy would notice something different about him and then she might wish he was their again." that just floored me... he is just a baby... its was so... heartbreaking... I dont know what the point of this blog is... I am just at a loss of what to do... I love my job! I love working with the kids, but so many of them are hurting, and I can do anything about it... I just wish I could change what goes on at home sometimes... I just dunno...

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