Monday, March 12, 2007

target practice---aiming for your face---

Things I don't understand

Corduroy Pants and the color 'mustard' yellow.

Something from the pit of hell must possess a person who chooses to wear blue corduroy pants and a yellow mustard tube top. It is wrong on several different levels. Don't do it! If you choose to sport this attire, I will kick you in the shin!

Constant victims and people who look for permission.

I don't come to you and confess my every sin. I don't ask you for permission to do things that might make my conscious weary. When all is said and done, when all that's left is a single "amen", THEN spill your guts out to the big guy… now leave me alone!

Slackers and Overachievers

Do your job and don't make more work for me! Remember, do just your job. Don't make me look bad by doing my jobs as well.

Sunny Delight

This is NOT orange juice. It has the same about of sugar as soda pop.

People who don't wash their hands after they use the restroom.

This is gross! Plain and simple! I live with a pair who (not only have no bathroom etiquette) spread their nasty germs all over the house by not washing their hands. They wonder why I hate them… common sense here people… COME ON! If you subject me to your diseases and germs, then OF COURSE I am going to throw things at your and laugh at your lameness!

Grown men still obsessed with Marvel Comics.

Typically these men have higher IQ's then the general public, but lack the ability to socialize. Again… common sense would fix their problem of "feeling alone". Put down the comic, sell it on EBay. Buy a new wardrobe (not consisting of Aqua Teen Hunger Force tee's or band shirts from Hot Topic {just don't purchase any clothing from Hot Topic, your not cool enough to pull it off yet}), take a shower (greasy long hair wasn't attractive in the past and it is still considered tacky) and hit the sports bar.

This will save you pain and heartache in the future (when you end up married to that girl). She won't let you wear that shirt in public (she will more than likely burn it). Your comic books and/or action figures will end up in a box marked 'free' in the garage sell… so give yourself a head start and GROW UP!

God

This one is pretty much self explanatory.

Pretty much that is all for now…

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