Sometimes it is really hard not to be mad at God. I honestly can not figure out why he lets things happen. You spend your whole life dreaming of a specific moment. Then it arrives, and you make plans to change your whole world. You daydream and fantasies. This will become your purpose.
Its like he creates this completely wonderful miracle just to take it away. Almost as if it were a sick game. A cheap shot… a low blow… and your left speechless
But I know that's not his style. There is a purpose for everything. "To everything there is a season; a time and purpose under heaven." (ecc 3:1) I should use this time of brokenness to draw closer to Him. I should let Him mend my tired heart. I should work on that…
I have become a hermit. I don't feel like even getting out of bed much. I hate my cell. I hate getting online. Don't be offended friends I have come to ignore… its so not you. I have become ultra lame. I am hoping it's a short faze soon to pass. Give me time, I will call shortly. I just don't feel like explaining myself just yet. I do love you all like crazy…I am so done with living in Arizona. If I had pennies to save I would save them to move back… sigh