Broken heart, packing kitchen appliances woes and she rambles

I lost a good friend last week. Don't be sympathetic, its not like she died. She moved away and had no use for me anymore. I considered us best of friends, that is why she was my maid of honor at my wedding. I valued our friendship. I expected us to be friends for many many years. She even got together with my chidhood best guy friend (something that only happens in movies)... They make a good couple...I imagined their wedding, and our children being friends...

I am rather distraught over the whole ordeal. It makes me feel sick. I can only imagine what sort of stories she creates to turn people/her friends against me. As if it was a war. I am sure there are a handful of people out there that are convinced I am a man stealing (remember, I am happily married), attention hungry, bully that used her to better myself. Same thing she told me about some of her other used-to-be-friends. What really confused me was her reasoning for her ending our friendship... the reason why changed with each email... Then everything made since, she was just trying to get rid of me like the others... I could use this sliver to cyber space to tear apart this girl. To defend myself against her antics. To trash talk her and create lies to make her look bad... but I just can't do that. She was my friend and I loved her.

I did learn quiet a bit from her though. She taught me to be brave. To smile when life is a drag. She taught me that I don't have to appease everyone. To take bubble baths with candles and a good book. She taught me that it is alright to be angry. How to make life interesting and always fun.

I am thankful for my poor memory. I tend to block the bad things in my life, and I am already forgetting the painful conversations that took place this last week. Soon alls that will be left are the amazing memories of the crazy adventures my friend and I experienced. So in my world that is where I will keep her... Somewhere between Ozzfest, driving home from San Diego, and throwing playground balls at monkeys in the gym...





So Daniel and I will be leaving for Arizona on the 10th (of next month... October)... It is less than two weeks away. I am not scared anymore. My parents are already talking about "when they come visit in two months or so" I am more then ready to move... well... other then packing... which I hate to do... hate with a passion... I would rather get a tooth pulled them pack... you get ice cream with dentist visits... you only get paper cuts from packing....

For the last two week I have boycotted cleaning. It isn't going as I planned. Daniel and I live with another couple who don't seem to see the need to share household responsibilities. I am not the only one who uses the toilet or shower... But Daniel has ended up picking up the slack, because he is just sweet like that. It isn't fair to him, so I will have to cave in... no more roomates... never again...



I have found a old friend... I just love when that happens... she is just as I remembered her... charming, bubbly and very talkative.. and now she has my living room furniture... that's kinda funny to me... I hadn't seen her for ten years or so... myspace is awesome ...

Let me paint you a picture

let me paint a picture for you...


It is a warm summers day at Shasta Lake. The lake is full of happy familys driving there boats around, enjoying eachothers company. My familys boat is anchored close to shore. My little brother Jacob is in the mud, covered head to toe. My little sisters are basking in the sun, browning theire tans. My Dad has his binocliers glued to his face, scouting the shore lines in hopes of spoting a fork-n-horn. My brother Zach next to him, holding his breath, praying for one also. Zach had just shot one yesturday, so it is Dads turn.

It was then my Dad jumped with excitment! "It is across the lake on the far shore, lets go"! He reaches over the boat and yanks my brother Jacob from the mud and pulls in the boat. Zach pulls the anocors in as my Dad floors the boat into gear. They speed across the lake and pull a compleat 180. Spraying the boat next to them with cold water as well as in the family boat. Amy and Katie stand up in protest "you got us wet". My dad pulls out his bow-n-arrow, Zach pushes Katie and Amy to the floor. Mean while the boat next to them see the deer also. The children in the other boat are excited to see wildlife and say "Mommy look a dear, isn't he so cute!"Just then my dad lets go and takes the shot. The screams of the children in the other boat we loud, but not as loud as the deer.

The deer colapses to the dirt and starts rolling towards the water. Zach jumps out of the boat and swims to shore, pulls the deer out of the water and guts the animal right then and there. Zach throws the guts up the hill then holds the deer up for my family to see. "Alright Daddy!" was the words said as the other family in the boat drove away screaming still...

Not feeling so strong

I just don't understand... I have these people in my life... lets call them "people I think of as friends" of sorts... when you need them the most woosh they disapear from the raidar... or turn pshyco and ignore you, then call you the next day and act normal again... I am just left... here... wondering...

So... Daniel and I are moving to Arizona next month... It might as well be the moon... Redding is my home, and always will be... but with the cost of living and the low paying jobs, we can't even squeek by... Daniel parents live in Arizona, and we both have a job waiting for us... I am scared to death, I have always had someone to come to my rescue, whether it was my grandma bringing my Starbucks at work in the morning, or my Aunt Mary giving me a ride to the store... All of my yesturdays, where I grew up... so many good memories, and lessons learned from the bad ones... I am afraid I will miss something important in my brothers and sisters life... or grow a friend into a stranger... This is a good move for us though, I know it is what God wants... I have compleate confidence in Him...

So... we went dumpster diving today for boxes... we found some real good ones... now alls I need to do is put all my stuff in them... I would ask for volunteers, but I super anal about my stuff... and I don't want you touching it... not that its really nice and expensive... its just how I am...

Last Saturday... and stuff

Last Saturday was my friday... I worked hard all week and was going to spend the next two days up at Trinity Lake with my family. I was so excited!!! Daniel and I packed our car and were going to head up there when I got off at 6...

It was a super busy day last Saturday. It was the first of the month and a holiday weekend... On top of that it was the day all the crazys were out...

The Man Hater


I was walking a lady to her car, pushing her basket of groceries and trying to make small talk... I wasn't expecting what would happend next... it went something like this...

me- "so, how are you today?"
lady- "of course you would ask me that... this has been the worst day of my life..."
me- looking disturped "oh, I am sorry to hear that... at least the weather is nice..."
lady- "it is too hot, and I dont even care about the weather. my husband left me this morning for his brothers step grandaughter..."

at this point the lady gets in front of the basket and stares at me

lady-"before he left he told me about every affair he has had in the last thirty years... this afternoon he emptied our bank account and took my car..."

me-"uh... wow"
lady- "dont ever get married... how old are you?"
me-"23, and I am married... and he is a nice guy"
lady- "they all are nice at first"

then the lady gets in her car while I load her groceries.



The Zit Girl


I was following a women in between cars pushing her basket. She forgot where she had parked so we were just wandering. I happend to look in this old bucket of a car. There was a gigantic women in the front seat. She had the mirror down and was proceding to pop pimples all over her face. It just wasnt on quick one ya know... She was really going at it. I was sure her whole face was going to pop off. It was so gross...


The Pathetic Wimp


This lady walks up to the register holding a single apple and a bottle of water. I ask her if she perfered paper or plasic. She said plasic... I go to hand her the bag, she looked at me and said "I am out this way"... I was just flabergasted... so I followed her out carrying her apple and water. She looked over her shoulder and said "bad back ya know..."


Mean Ol Rich Lady

This didn't happen to me... Poor little Ashley was bagging for this big ugly lady, that was buying to much... She was the kinda customer that comes in every week and spend $400 on groceries... of course she asked for paper, packed lightly... so Ashley did... she even had to get another cart because the lady had so much stuff... Normally when the order ends up in two different carts, the customer pushes one out and the curtesy clerk gets the other... but this lady starts walking off so Ashley is stuck pushing one and pulling the other...


The Man in Charge

Speaking of Ashley... She is getting married this Saturday... She asked for the time off a long time ago, and has reminded the people in charge of the schedule often... however when the schedule came out this week the gave her the day of her wedding off, and that all... not the rehersal dinner or after... I just thought that was sad...


Crazy Eyes

This lady walks up to the register, she had dirty blonde hair and dark wrinkly skin. She was wearing a purple halter top and acid washed overalls and no shoes... and her eyes were both lazy... she asked for a pack of Camel Lights. I go to get them, the cashier rings them up and tells her it is going to be $5 something. The customer goes crazy... "they are how much?" and then she starts laughing as if it was ironic or something... she pulls out a ten dollar bill and throws it at the cashier... she gets her change and she laughes all the way out of the store...


It was just a odd day... we had alot of drunk people come in and try to buy more alcohal... alot of kids try and make a mess of stuff... the day went buy rather quickly for me... which was good... The weekend wasnt as relaxing as I hoped...

We spent most of Sunday on the boat. My brother Zach was driving us around and stuff. He doesn't slow down for big wakes, so my back is all bruised up from hiting the railing of the boat. Sunday night I had to drive my mom back into town so she could take her puppies to the emergency vet place... They were at home with my sister Amy. The cats knocked over some pain medication from the counter to the floor and the puppies ate all of it. They had to get there stomaches pumped and stuff. They are fine now, but it was kinda scary...

Daniel stayed up at camp when I took my mom home... It was real late when I got into town and I didn't want to drive up the hill in the dark. So I stayed home... all alone... For the first time sence we got married... It was kinda scary... and cold... and I was sure the boogieman was going to get me...


So... I am desperatly trying to find a different job... I am not sure where God wants me... but I am thinking I should persue working at makeup counters... Like at Macys or Gottchalks or something. I have quite a bit of expereice with cosmetics and skin care stuff... I think it would be good... so wish me luck on that...

So it is September, which means Halloween is soon gonna be here... I am not sure what I should be... I am thinking a superhero of sorts... like Underdog or KungPowFooie... I am not sure though...