My heart is so torn... I feel hollow and defeated. I still do not understand pregnancy loss... what is the point? I trust God has a purpose... a plan... all things to work together for the greatest good. It still hurts... my heart and soul hurt.
The thought that hurts the worst is that this baby was gone before I knew about it. I hate that I didn't get to love it when it was alive... "It"... seems so wrong to call a baby "it". A baby so wanted...
We never gave names to our other children who had passed. I gave charge to the Angels in naming our children... saying "give them beautiful Hebrew names, surprise me when I meet them."
This baby... I have a need to name... this baby we want to know is very much loved... cherished... and missed.
This baby we named Kellen Lee Whipple. An Irish name meaning 'powerful'... this baby, so small, was with us --then left us without us noticing... but was so powerful in our lives!
My Dearest Kellen,
You were a surprise to us Love. A welcomed miracle into our lives! I pray you know how much your Daddy and I do love you! We cherish your memory and our hearts are forever yours.
Love, Mommy and Daddy
I really am not comfortable talking about Kellen or the loss in general. Just a heads up for future conversations.