A burning desire to live life has me tangled inside a web of lies. The unconditional love of loved ones pours shame and dishonor, the life they chose for me to live will only lead to my suicide. My life is now lived apart from my past and is keeping me from my future. Suicidal death would cease the fight against myself, but my hellish eternity would commence. Fearing the consequences of spoken truth in this "sinful" life has me paralyzed even in sleep. I feel so confused, my unhappy heart screams death, but this is the life I chose to life. Now I must live my life.