como estas? and taco bell?

That is about the extent of my bilingual abilities...

I have never felt so out of place, as I did last night. I went shopping at the mall. Seriously, I was the only not Hispanic person in the mall. Every store I went into, every cashier, every fitting room attendant and every girl working the jewelry counter knew not a single English word. I am being completely honest here. I started getting annoyed!

Then...

I went to get my haircut. A nice gentleman motioned for me to sit at his booth. So I walk over and sit down. I smile and start making small talk. Asking him how he was, and how his day had been so far. He just smiles and nods then starts cutting my hair. I stop him, and say "don't you want to know what I want done?" He smiles and nods some more and keeps cutting. So I tell him anyway... "Short, but not extremely short, wispy, sexy rockstarish... you know... just cute... same thing I have, but shorter..." and he just stares at me... so then I ask, "do you speak English?" and he says "English?" and shakes his head no.

ACK! In my personal opinion... If you work with the public you should be able to converse in the nations dialect.

So... with that... I say...

Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year... I am sure you already know this. I know how you and Jesus share and compare notes... you sly dog... Anywise... For Christmas this year I would like a "Learn Spanish" cassette tape.

You're Biggest Fan,

Sarah Whipple

waiting for the bad karma

I made the dressing room attendant at Wal-Mart cry... I didn't set out to be mean; it just kinda slipped... I was shopping for a new... uh... supportive undergarment... I was wandering threw the isles, she sat at the desk and I could see her watching me...

Now the choosing of this undergarment is actually a taxing experience. For me at least... the specific type I am looking for is rather uncommon... so...
I make a few selections and proceed to wait in the line for a dressing room.

The attendant working the dressing room (Who is extremely large, the largest women I have ever seen {really and truly}) starts making small talk with me. That was fine. Then she starts comparing her and I. Making comments on how we are the same. Me being the realist I am blurt out, "You, dear women, are fat. Plan and simple. I would be considered thick. You and I are much different. You say you have trouble finding a good fitting bra, that is only because you are fat. Try duck tape to keep those little boobs of yours from knocking someone out when you waddle around."

She handed me a number for a room with tears in her eyes... I felt bad, and was extremely embarrassed.

spending too much time inside my thoughts

So I am at work. It has been a extremely slow day. Which is normal. The Salon doesn't get much business in the mornings, so I am left cleaning the same things everyday. Sweep and mop the floors. Wash the walls. Dust the shelves, organize the product, wash and dry then fold the towels. Clean the air conditioning vents. Wash the windows inside and out. Wash the floor boards, wash the doors, clean the blades of the fans in every room… anything to keep busy… it gets real old, real fast. I seem to tune the radio out after only 3 hours of being at work.

So I am left with silence, which I have found to be dangerous. Self-pity and "would have beens" are kept fresh on my mind. I have discovered that a break up of two friends is much like the break up of love relationships. You are left hurt and feeling alone. First blaming the other party and hating the feeling of being "took". Going to friends and family looking for comfort and rationalization that you are in the right. After that feeling subsides, you wonder if you are the one to blame. What did 'I' do wrong? Feeling guilty for hurting the other party. Thinking you are incapable of keeping true friends, almost hating yourself. Then I remember what had happened. The very start of 'end'. I remember what kind of person the other party was, how she acted, the people she fooled. I didn't have to lie to my friends and family to make them "take my side"… I have to remember that I did love her, she was my best friend. She is in almost half of my wedding pictures, I valued her friendship, admired her talents, and loved doing nothing with her. I have to remember that she was the one that decided she didn't need me. She never did feel the same about me. She is a survivor and that is what she was doing.," Surviving". She used me and every member of my family to survive. When we could no longer support her she had to move on. To rely on someone else to take care of her.

I am not writing this to "get revenge". This is more for me to sort things out. I do need advice on how to heal this wound. How do I make it go away?

On a more positive note… Daniel finally got a call for a job that he has been wanting… It is really exciting for us… hopefully by next month we can be in our own home. Yea! Then I can have my computer up and I can download my pictures and just feel better… I do miss my computer… funny how attached I feel to it… really sad…

I really hate this heat… it is November. It should be cold outside, not 90 degrees! Crystina wrote a new blog this week. She has already decorated her house for Christmas. Insane… but that's Crystina… she cracks me up!

I am really bored here at work… just bored, bored bored… perhaps I should go back to cleaning…

does it always smell this icky?

So we have been in Arizona a whole week! So far so good... other then the fact that the area stinks... literally... It reminds me of Mexico... anyone else remember that stench?

The ride down was something else... a bad experience... ha... It took us about 28 hours or so... twice as long as 'Mapquest' quoted. Somewhere after Bakersfield (hour 20) I lost it. The cat in the backseat had been crying the whole way. My emotions were under the influence of too many energy drinks and the fact that my family was the opposite direction of where we were headed. Our cell phones had gone dead a few hours back, so, I flashed my brights at Daniel and we pulled over and I cried the crazy out. Later in the night we pulled over at a rest stop. It was late, and driving in the dark is boring. The scenery doesn't change... its black... just always black... so we ran back and forth the sidewalk like insane people... it was to get the blood flowing so we wake up and stretch the muscles... but the truckers were laughing at us...

Then...

It was awful!!!! We were driving down the freeway... not going very fast because Daniel was pulling the trailer... it was right before we got to the border... so... it was about 3am... a jackrabbit ran in front of Daniel... he ran over it with the truck... then... it flew into the front of my car!!! I can not describe how gross this was! It was like slow motion... seeing this red bloody bunny flying threw the air and into the front of my little car! I threw up a little... I don't think I will ever be the same... ha...

Then I had to pee... again... this was something that kept annoying Daniel... just about every 40 min or so... well not that much... but I was drinking lots of caffeine (which made me sick the next day... I felt like I was going threw caffeine withdrawals... I got a head ache and was shaky... it was funny) so... we were on this windy road and hadn't seen a sole or a building for an hour or so... I started to panic... I waited ten more miles... nothing... then another ten miles... I started to cry (again... remember the influence of energy drinks and 20 hours or straight highways...) so then I just pulled over... hiking a few feet off the pavement into the dessert... keeping a ear out for rattlers and coyotes (which were abundant on the side of the highway... which creept me out!) then I started thinking about monster spiders and scorpions... All the scary movies start out this way! Argh!!! But I was desperate! so...

We got across the border around 4:30 am... I was asleep in a comfy bed around 8am... It was the longest day of my life!

I started my new job the next day! I can honestly say I love it! It is really fun! The girls I work with are great! And my manager (Daniel sister...) is awesome! And... I get to tan for free! which is exciting!!!! woohoo!

Living with my 'in-laws' is actually going good... not as odd as I thought it was going to be. Other then having to deal with my newest "relative" (David's "wife"...my sister in-law{that made me throw up a little}) things are just super... I am getting set in a routine and have not gotten lost in the last two days...

This place is huge! It has all the amenities of a big city... even a Mimi's Cafe (they have the best muffins!) I am very much looking forward to exploring this place!!!

I do, however, feel awful for not saying 'goodbye' to some of my lovely friends... I wish I could have had a few more hours to visit you!!! I can't stay away too long, so plan on having coffee with me in the near future!!!

I love and miss you all!!! I have a new phone number... so... don't call the old one cause it is not me...

Broken heart, packing kitchen appliances woes and she rambles

I lost a good friend last week. Don't be sympathetic, its not like she died. She moved away and had no use for me anymore. I considered us best of friends, that is why she was my maid of honor at my wedding. I valued our friendship. I expected us to be friends for many many years. She even got together with my chidhood best guy friend (something that only happens in movies)... They make a good couple...I imagined their wedding, and our children being friends...

I am rather distraught over the whole ordeal. It makes me feel sick. I can only imagine what sort of stories she creates to turn people/her friends against me. As if it was a war. I am sure there are a handful of people out there that are convinced I am a man stealing (remember, I am happily married), attention hungry, bully that used her to better myself. Same thing she told me about some of her other used-to-be-friends. What really confused me was her reasoning for her ending our friendship... the reason why changed with each email... Then everything made since, she was just trying to get rid of me like the others... I could use this sliver to cyber space to tear apart this girl. To defend myself against her antics. To trash talk her and create lies to make her look bad... but I just can't do that. She was my friend and I loved her.

I did learn quiet a bit from her though. She taught me to be brave. To smile when life is a drag. She taught me that I don't have to appease everyone. To take bubble baths with candles and a good book. She taught me that it is alright to be angry. How to make life interesting and always fun.

I am thankful for my poor memory. I tend to block the bad things in my life, and I am already forgetting the painful conversations that took place this last week. Soon alls that will be left are the amazing memories of the crazy adventures my friend and I experienced. So in my world that is where I will keep her... Somewhere between Ozzfest, driving home from San Diego, and throwing playground balls at monkeys in the gym...





So Daniel and I will be leaving for Arizona on the 10th (of next month... October)... It is less than two weeks away. I am not scared anymore. My parents are already talking about "when they come visit in two months or so" I am more then ready to move... well... other then packing... which I hate to do... hate with a passion... I would rather get a tooth pulled them pack... you get ice cream with dentist visits... you only get paper cuts from packing....

For the last two week I have boycotted cleaning. It isn't going as I planned. Daniel and I live with another couple who don't seem to see the need to share household responsibilities. I am not the only one who uses the toilet or shower... But Daniel has ended up picking up the slack, because he is just sweet like that. It isn't fair to him, so I will have to cave in... no more roomates... never again...



I have found a old friend... I just love when that happens... she is just as I remembered her... charming, bubbly and very talkative.. and now she has my living room furniture... that's kinda funny to me... I hadn't seen her for ten years or so... myspace is awesome ...