Monday, May 31, 2010

What is the point?

Five hours in the ER last night left me with only more questions.

What is this increasing pain. Why are my HCG levels STILL rising? Why won't God take this away from me. I want closure. I want to move on. I want my body to be able to heal so I can think about being pregnant again someday.

I have beg, pleaded, screamed and wept for God to let my body heal. I feel like I am fighting a hurricane. My body is still pregnant... even though there is absolutely no baby inside... anywhere.

WHY WHY WHY?!?!?! What is the point here God? What lesson to be learned? Do I really need to be this strong? What good can come from this? I am lost! So confused! I am terrified...

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